Dealing With The Unexpected (March Madness Check-In, Day 19)

"Sofie was more than a little surprised when she discovered the difference between a fern and a cactus."

 How do we deal with the unexpected?

Sometimes things come from out of left field. We can't always be prepared for all things all the time. Whether they're good or bad, news, events, and even feedback about our work can throw us out of our rhythm.

My plans for the weekend went out the window on Tuesday. A spontaneous family invitation out of town, one that was worth accepting, meant that I'll be away from home until late today. And so I canceled appointments, booked off tomorrow so I'll have some time to wind down when I come back, and early Saturday I left for a relaxing three-day Vancouver Island getaway.

Yeah, yeah, I know. Not exactly something to complain about. *grins*

I am of course grateful for this. I needed it after a stressful week. But it wasn't exactly what I'd planned. I'd set goals for the weekend! Places to be! Don Rocko and I were supposed to catch a movie! A dear friend and I were going to hang out (and those plans, I forgot to cancel. Oops.) And on top of all that, I had this post to write!

But when my plans changed, I had to readjust. I spent time that I would have normally devoted to my creative endeavours packing and getting ready for the trip. It threw me off my game. Fortunately, in this case everything worked out well, but we all know that isn't always going to be the case. So as easy as it is to fall into the comfortable, planned pattern of our daily lives, we've got to be ready to accept surprises when they occur.

How do you deal with the unexpected? What strategies do you have? March Madness folks, have there been any surprises thrown your way this month that you weren't expecting? How have they affected your goals, or did you find a way to work with them?

So far I've had ample opportunity to devote time to my March (WIP) Madness goals, which included catching up on my reading and working some more on my WIP. I finished my second pass last week, and now I'm onto a third (and hopefully final) list of items to fix before I send it out into the wild. This weekend away has proved fruitful, with intense epiphanies about how to make the story better. And earlier last week, I also got some research done on my other novel project, as I researched the character's identity and roots. How about you?

I might not be able to respond much until I get home tonight. And don't forget to stop by Denise Jaden's blog tomorrow, where she'll draw for more fantastic March WIPmadness prizes!

Respecting the Day Job (March Madness Check-In, Day 12)

"For now its just playing, but one day i'll find that artery"

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the day job, and what it means to me. When I was a kid, once I'd determined that I wanted to be a writer, my dreams centered around me one day being published, rich, and famous. Reality didn't factor into my ambition when I was twelve, and seventeen years later*, I'm still working on that dream—of being published, at least. Rich and famous? I may be an optimist, but I'm also a realist.

And these days, that's something I've come to terms with. Last week's Magical Words post by David B. Coe about the realities of publishing (and even Carrie Ryan's follow-up about YA publishing in particular) wasn't entirely news to me. But still a part of me had been clinging to the idea that my day job was just that, a day job, one that no matter how much I loved it I would eventually leave to pursue my writing.

That's not to say it won't ever happen. Anything is possible, right? Just that lately, I've come to realize that I'm happy with what I've got. The job I do is rewarding in itself. No one minds that I use my lunch break as writing time. And by working a little bit extra every day, I get one day off every two weeks (hint: it's Mondays).

Sometimes I feel confined by days when I don't get as much writing time as I could if I didn't have the day job, but even on those days, lately I've made it work. Writing in the car while DH drives us to and from work (yay carpooling). Squeezing in half an hour before sword class. Making sure I use the lunch break for actual writing. Fitting writing and reading in where I can, because that's what I need to do.

I thought about taking today and the Monday two weeks from now off, specifically for March Madness, but that's not what this is about. The point is (Dear Universe), this is reality. And I love my job enough to know that even after getting published, I could still handle it. Probably would have to handle it. The "Day Job" may be an epithet for some, but I can't let it be that for me. And youthful fantasies aside, I'm okay with that.

March Madness folks: How are things going today? Do you have a challenge to your writing schedule that you've come to embrace and respect? What do you do to squeeze in writing time? Progress-wise, I'm coming along. Since last week, I've edited 9 chapters. Still more to go, but there's a write-in tonight and I'm hoping to get some work done. How about you?

I'll be at work today *points to title of post* but I'll be sure to respond this evening. And don't forget to check in at Denise Jaden's blog tomorrow!



* * * * You do the math. Guess which big one I'll be celebrating this June?

Embracing Change (March Madness Check-In, Day 5)

"Uncomfortable kitteh is ... apparently comfortable"

Welcome to March Madness Mondays! For those of you participating in the challenge, how's progress? For some, I know the weekend meant a break from the madness. For others, it was an opportunity. For me, it was a weird mix of both. I didn't manage quite what I'd intended to accomplish, but I made *some* progress. I'm up to Chapter 15 in my second pass read-through after making a major change. (More on that in a bit.)

Which brings me to my point.

Do you ever get attached to something? An element in your story. A certain creative habit. Even reading in a particular genre. Whatever it is, it's easy to fall into a comfort zone. We like it just the way it is and we don't want to let it go. So when someone tells us it doesn't belong or that we need to stretch ourselves or do things differently, then it rankles and if we're attached enough, the criticism falls on deaf ears.

But what if that means that we get so attached we refuse to make a change when we really need to? (Yoga pants, I am looking at you. Yes, you're comfortable. Fashionable everyday wear? I wish.)

So, what was it for me? Well, I always thought I was pretty flexible. Editorial suggestion? Sure! If something's not working, I can make changes. As long as the essence of the story remains, then if it makes things better, I can do both the story and myself justice by making those fixes. I'm not adverse to learning new things. If I have the opportunity to be a better writer, then I really ought to embrace it, right?

Yeah, but there was one little detail I'd decided was a non-negotiable.

Some of you already know the story, but I might as well explain it from scratch: My WIP, SIGN OF THE STAR, was written in first-person, present-tense. And even though some of my beta group told me that it didn't work for them, I chalked it up to a matter of opinion. The original was written that way. And that's how I wrote the revised version, too. But I clung to the idea that that was how the story was supposed to be. Even when one of the Magical Words folks made an excellent point that present tense comes at a heavy price. (Seriously, check the comments. See Moira Young's—my cursed pen name at the time—naive response.)

Then last month, I had tea with an awesome beta reader who doesn't pull punches, and she nailed the problem I'd been having with it when editing by telling me that "it was like watching through a veil". She had trouble connecting with the characters because the present tense created an artificial distance. Which was exacty not what I was going for.

So I caved. And before February was out, I'd changed the story over to past tense. (Really not hard, even though for awhile there I was mentally changing the tense of any text I encountered. Hooboy.) Now I'm making a second pass for clarity, voice and flow. And I love the story so much more. It feels more accessible. Janni's voice has never been more clear. Did I damage the story's integrity, or change my heartsong? Surprisingly, no.

Sometimes we have to make the change. Sometimes it can be scary. And sometimes it can be exactly what we need.

So, have you gotten stuck on or attached to something in your work? Have you asked yourself what the cost would be to you to try something different? What are the possible rewards? What's the worst that could happen if you gave it a chance? March Madness, #wipmadness, is about putting yourself out there, being daring. Let us embrace all that it can offer.

Update: Forgot to add, don't forget to check-in tomorrow (today actually) at Denise Jaden's blog.

Madness Ahoy!

The Madness begins on Thursday. Not that it ever ended; if you've been around on Twitter you might know about #WIPmadness, a community where we set monthly goals for reading and writing and try our best to reach them. Writers take turns hosting weekly check-ins. It's very motivational. It helps us keep in touch with ourselves, our hopes and our plans. The wonderful positive energy is held and we all strive to do our best. It's a type of Callahan's: shared pain is lessened, shared joy is increased. And we write.

Tomorrow, February 29th, Denise Jaden will be hosting the official goals thread. We state our intent. And then, on March 1st, the madness begins in earnest. Daily we check in with our progress. We encourage each other. And to top it all off, there will be prizes for participating!

So, come join in on the fun. I'll be hosting Monday check-ins and even offering two of the prizes. It's not quite NaNo, but it's something. Today I heard another writer refer to a completely different project as "Beautiful Chaos". I like to think of it as creating a magical space within the eye of the storm that is our lives and keeping it going for all of March.

Join us! It'll be fun, I promise. *cackles*

... Oops. Sorry. I'm not allowed to cackle in public anymore.

Hope to see you there!

Job Satisfaction

There was a new figurine on the basement mantelpiece.

The summer I was seven, Grandma Taylor took to babysitting me and my sisters, since Mom’s last mat leave was done with and she couldn’t afford otherwise. I was the eldest, and back then I escaped from my snotty, whining siblings whenever I could. The basement, a cluttered monument to years gone by, had its own fireplace, and Grandma liked to put her garage sale finds along its edges. No matter how poorly made or what they portrayed, tiny statues were her favourite. And since this was a Monday, I knew there’d be something new waiting for me.

I crept closer, peering at the addition. Squarish and squat, wings folded back upon itself, the miniature stone statue scowled through the gloom. Just as I reached him, gaze level with the mantelpiece, the drafty room grew colder.

Then his eyes moved.

“Of all the injustices,” he muttered, and I could have sworn he clenched his claws. “To be consigned to a dungeon!”

I blinked, but I wasn’t fazed. Children never doubt the magic, not even the first time. “This isn’t a dungeon,” I told him. “It’s just a basement.”

His tiny gaze met mine. “Don’t you understand, child? This is a travesty! Gargoyles are meant to protect humans. What am I guarding here?”

“Well,” I hedged, “These are kinda like my grandma’s treasures—”

He sniffed. “I see no gold or jewels.”

“And I come here a lot,” I quickly added. “You could guard me.”

Now he studied me, intent. “Do you mean that, truly?”

I nodded.

“And you promise?” His voice now quavered with hope.

“Yes,” I breathed.

I don’t hear him anymore. Somehow I lost the magic when I grew up. But these days, he guards my apartment.

* * *
This was my entry for Yearning For Wonderland's The Fairy Ring Contest. Interested in participating? Here are the details:

Lost in the Music

I'm counting the cars
on the freeway below
lost in the music ...
- David Usher

For more than a year, I've heard people say that listening to music while trying to concentrate on something (such as studying or writing) is bad, because scientists have proven with multiple studies that multitasking is bad.

And I get where they're coming from. They're right: multitasking *is* bad. When I have to multitask at anything, I don't get nearly as much done as when I'm focused on a single project at once.

But I disagree that listening to music should be counted among that.

I am the eldest of four girls, with a five-plus year gap separating me and the other three. Now married, I live in an apartment and I don't get to choose my neighbours, whether they be screaming children or hard-partying college kids. My entire life has involved finding peace and quiet so I can write. And since I don't live on a farm or in a cabin in the woods or on the lake, away from the bustle of life, I need some way of minimizing distraction. Music helps me do that.

I'm trying to think of a way to explain this. In some places on the Internet, I've tried to explain that I use the music to fortify the part of my brain that deals with interruptions. The sound forms a barrier from *other* sounds that might distract me. The rhythm from the beat plus the melody of the song itself both get me in the groove. I stop listening to the song itself and I get into a zone. The music protects me. Did you know, I wrote the climactic two chapters of SIGN OF THE STAR by listening to Kevin Rudolf ft. Lil Wayne's "Let it Rock" on repeat sixty-eight times?

Now that I really think about it, I realize that what I'm describing is a trance. Hey, if it helps me write, I am perfectly fine with that designation.

A final thought: Several times in the last few months, I have tried writing without music. The fact that I am easily distracted aside, I feel unschooled, unable to concentrate, and way less productive. The only exception to this is (don't laugh) when I'm alone in the woods or it's so late at night, there *are* no distractions.

Even then, there's an iTunes in my head. Earworms? Not really. At this point, if something annoys me I can switch songs.

What I think this all comes down to, though, is the oft-repeated Magical Words mantra: there is no one right way to do this. I shouldn't feel bad if others, even scientists, disagree. This is what works for me. If listening to music while writing doesn't work for you, that's okay; to each their own. The times when I forget this are the times when I am least producive; when I complain, my TOEM writing group laughs and tells me to don my headphones.

Girl, put your records on.

When "Waste Not, Want Not" is a Bad Thing

Don Rocko and I are avid recyclers. Paper, cardboard, plastic ... we even have a compost. It's one way that we're lessening our collective carbon footprint. That's not all we do, but that's besides the point. For related reasons (the "reuse" part of the 3 R's), I'm a bit of a packrat.

And that's not a terrible thing, especially because I find it's often a useful money-saving trait. But as a blanket mentality, it's definitely a problem.

Because I am doing the same damn thing with my writing.

Rewrites are a necessity. A colleague of mine, whenever I tell him that I'm working on rewrites, likes to say, "writing is rewriting". And he's right, of course. Novels never spring fully formed and perfect from our heads. Rewrites will happen when we fix what our beta readers point out, when the agent asks us to make changes, and again when the publisher does, too.

The problem is that I've been rewriting and rewriting and rewriting and getting bogged down by the process.

The original SIGN OF THE STAR took me just over a year to write. But it was a 100K behemoth and desperately in need of a makeover. What's worse, the makeover involved splitting the manuscript into three. It's definitely a much better story for it now, but an overhaul of that magnitude took forever. An additional twenty-one months, to be precise—and that's just Book 1! Part of the reason why was that I didn't want to delete what I'd already written.

Now, I have my own valid concerns and mild phobias about forgetting and/or losing what I've created. But that packrat mentality has been holding me back, and I've only just realized the source of my frustration.

Digression: I have a trunked set of manuscripts (let's just call the whole lot "Takara", after the world I set it in) that I know are salvagable because I spent thirteen years, between the ages of twelve and twenty-five, pouring everything I had into them. Takara is my greatest heartsong, one I've given so much time and energy to that I know I will one day de-trunk it. (I love it enough to recognize that it's gonna stay trunked for some time.) Anyway, what strikes me is that when I was younger, I didn't hesitate to start over every few years and re-tell it better. Fresh. I recognized as I grew up with it that it needed work that a bit of tweaking wouldn't solve. And I was okay with that because I wanted to tell the story right.

So why did I stop doing that?

I don't know if I can pinpoint a single reason. Maybe it was that, as I got older, I started to think I was ready to seek publication. And that put pressure on me. (Read: I put pressure on myself.) I couldn't bear to start over, not when I felt so close. Oh, little did I know ...

So when it came time to break apart the original Janni story and craft the first volume of the trilogy, I took painstaking measures to save as much as I could, to build around what I had and enhance it. I was a packrat with my words. A miser. Trying to fill in the cracks of my work rather than starting over. And you know what that meant?

I no longer had a way of gauging how my writing has improved.

Don't get me wrong. I feel confident about SOTS now. I'm just saying that I went about it completely the wrong way.

I also haven't been engaging in nearly as much fresh writing as I'd like. In my drive to be published, I haven't taken as much time for fresh writing. I can be very crotchety about my writing time, given that I have a beloved but intense day job and other committments, like sword class and reading and oh, I don't know, friends and family. So some foolish part of me decided to categorize things like writing exercises and writing not related to SOTS as a waste of time.

This past Nano, I very quickly recognized that I was going nowhere with my attempts at STAR CHILD (SOTS #2). I was trying too hard to make my writing fit what I thought existed, and even just using that as a rough outline wasn't helping. (Especially since the story has changed so much.) So I started a new project, one whose ideas have been on the backburner and that I recently realized I wanted to bring to life. And it felt good.

Fresh writing is important. Even if it's just the same project, retold instead of tweaking, the way I did with the Takara stories. The point is that it's the creation of something new. And exercises, writing practice, don't take away from writing time. We've gotta lift weights to build muscle.

Realizing this has been a load off of my shoulders, to say the least.

First, you have to milk the tiger ...

Note: This recipe has been updated. Please check here for the newer, better version.

*blinks* Hi! Wow, is it December 20th already?

I think at this point, the rest of my SiWC 2011 notes can wait until after Christmas. I have some vacation days coming up and the holidays so far have been crammed with festivities, sword class (where I passed another assessment, yaaay!) and fudgecrafting. The most latter is the topic of this post, because I only make one kind of fudge, and it's been getting a lot of attention lately: tiger butter.  Simply put:

Tiger butter: white chocolate and peanut butter melted together and swirled with milk chocolate.

I've always had a thing for the stuff since I first tried a square of Purdy's Chocolates' version as a kid. It was one of my guilty pleasures. But about five or six Christmases ago, I came across a recipe at Allrecipes.com that seemed simple enough, so I made it (and I would love to find the link to give credit where it's due, but it doesn't seem to be around anymore).

My tiger butter has evolved over the years as I messed with ingredients and proportions. I won't bore you with the nitty gritty details, but suffice to say, this year, I feel that I've perfected the process. And I know what people say about not sharing a secret recipe, but I personally believe that this is something everyone should be able to make, so here it is:

L.S. Taylor's Nomtastic Tiger Butter

Ingredients:

- 4½ cups Foley's White Chocolate Melting Wafers

- 1 cup Foley's Milk Chocolate Melting Wafers
- 1 cup smooth peanut butter
- ¼ cup smooth no-sodium, no-sugar added peanut butter (I recommend Kraft)

Tools required:
- 2 saucepans, one much larger than the other
- 2 spatulas
- 1-2 baking sheets
- Waxed paper

Prepare the baking sheets with the waxed paper. Depending on the desired thinness of the squares and the size of your baking sheets, you'll need either one or two. In the larger saucepan, melt the smooth peanut butter with the white chocolate on very low heat (I don't have a double boiler and you don't need one either). In the smaller saucepan, melt the milk chocolate wafers with the no-sodium, no-sugar added peanut butter.

Stir both mixes frequently, each with their own spatula, to help them melt together, and to prevent them from sticking to the bottom of the pan. When both mixes are completely melted and the mixtures smooth, pour out the white chocolate mixture onto the pans, using the spatula to help spread it out into an even layer. Next, drizzle the milk chocolate mixture over the white. Finally, swirl the mixtures together with a spatula, like so:

Allow your creations to cool, then place flat in the freezer for at least 2 hours. Once frozen solid, break them into shards by peeling back the waxed paper. Dropping the sheet on a solid surface from a height can jumpstart the process, if you don't mind the small mess involved. The size of the pieces can vary and is ultimately up to you.

Best made on a full stomach.

Thank God It's Over (But It's Not)

Thursday marked the first of the month. The sun had set on another NaNoWriMo; we gathered to celebrate our happy exhaustion. Because it was the first of December and for the most part, we had all survived. Today being a Saturday, some of us will gather again, because not everyone can make a weeknight event, given that it's December and all. And the events are called Thank God It's Over, because hey, it's been a wild and crazy journey. It always is.

Battle-weary, we stumble into a restaurant to celebrate our success — because even if we didn't achieve fifty thousand words, we still tried. We put our fingers to the keyboards and together, we wrote.

And next week, some of us will keep writing like this.

We call ourselves The Other Eleven Months, because for us, writing is not something we can simply stop doing, and we like the energy that being in a group can bring. Once a week (or more) throughout Greater Vancouver, we gather for coffee or tea or (if you're a chocoholic like me) cocoa, and we talk about plot points, characters, and ideas. Every so often the conversation wends in the direction of pop culture or current events, and we discuss related topics. But most importantly? We write.

I've heard a lot of arguments against NaNoWriMo. I've heard that it cheapens the craft of writing, that it clogs the mailboxes of agents and publishers, that it is a waste of time, focusing on quantity over quality. I've also heard the unecessarily defensive rebuttles (that it's meant to encourage newcomers to the craft, that it's meant to be something anyone can try once, that "real" writers are participating these days). I don't want to point fingers or dwell on either side because I've heard enough of both sides this past month and a half and anger over this has no place in my life. So I won't.

But I will say what I know.

I know that sometimes, my internal editor is so harsh that I feel frozen at the keyboard.

I know that being forced to focus on quantity rather than quality helped me unfreeze.

I know that the sound of silence and a dozen keyboards is pretty amazing.

I know that this group has been a source of energy and inspiration.

I know that I've regained a new appreciation for the rough draft.

I know that before I joined NaNo, I was scared of rough drafts because rough drafts are, by nature, crap, and I'd somehow convinced myself that I didn't need them.

I know that NaNoWriMo has evolved beyond itself, and that many more writers, both aspiring and published, are taking part.

I know that I can adapt the challenge to my needs, that all that really matters is fifty thousand words of new writing.

I know that our weekly gathering keeps me going even when things are at their worst.

I know that I find laughter and cameraderie and joy in a craft that is, at its heart, a solitary act.

Of course, that's pretty much the point of our group: we don't just write as a novelty one month out of twelve. We write because we want to. Some of us just for fun, some of us to learn, and some of us because we're actively pursuing writing as a career.

Whatever the reason, we write.  And that's what really matters, no matter how you feel about NaNo.

This year, for fun, we had some temporary tattoos made. To celebrate ourselves, we chose a semicolon (a bit of an in-joke), but I think it fits:

(And you wouldn't believe the exhausted discussion we had about font! But it was worth it.)

So like any sane NaNoer, I am thankful the insanity of writing fifty thousand words in a single month is over. But I am also thankful for The Other Eleven Months, because frankly, for me writing is something that can not be contained to a single month. I wouldn't want it to be. And the people I've met and the friendships I've made through TOEM are something I wouldn't give up for the world.

Do you have a group like ours? Let me know in the comments! I would love to hear about more efforts like ours. Community matters.